Overwhelmed by stuff!

“It is the preoccupation with possessions, more than anything else that prevents us from living freely and nobly.”
―Bertrand Russell  

Wow, I feel like the biggest hurdle right now is dealing with my stuff.  42 years of accumulation.  At least I have moved a dozen or so times over my lifetime.

But I am noticing how much my stuff is managing me, so much so, I can barely manage it day to day.  I know that this purging will feel good in the end, but right now it just feels overwhelming.  So much so, that I am here writing this instead, frozen in movement or taking action.

I come from a background of people that have issues managing their stuff.  It is something my whole family deals with in some way or another.  I think my brother does the best bc he lives in New York and has the smallest space!

I don't consider myself a materialistic person, I don't really have the latest of anything and most of my stuff is second hand or curb-picked. (One benefit of using things til you can't anymore, is that when you get something new, it is great!  ie: even a cheap computer is way faster than the old one, even a 9 year car--vs.23 year old one-- has everything that works with nothing falling off !!)  ....But I tend to accumulate things....Is it the artist in me? .... who likes pretty things?  Things that can maybe be used in artwork.

Which brings me to the thing of "I'll be able to use it someday for something".  Now, this is great in a sense bc it is the reuse part of the equation in the reduce/reuse/recycle cycle, but less so in the overtaking of stuff.

"Perhaps middle-age is, or should be, a period of shedding shells; the shell of ambition, the shell of material accumulations and possessions, the shell of the ego."
 Ann Morrow

In my vision quest last summer, in this move to Mexico, I have been doing a lot of shedding.  I have been releasing my "identities" that I used to define who I am.  I am learning who I really am.  I don't think it is any accident that I read 2 books about people leaving behind their material stuff on a spiritual quest.   I know that dealing with my stuff is a spiritual practice for me.  Lightening this burden is something I have wanted to do for awhile.  Letting go of that which again is covering up.  What am I hiding underneath all of this stuff?  Why do I let it be such a distraction and preoccupation in my life?  What am I scared of?

I guess I will find out!!  Look  for a big yard sale in the spring!